Scariest Moment

It has been 48 hours since I experienced the scariest moment of my life.

I was shopping in Michael’s to get a few last minute things for the birthday girl. Jacob wanted a snack, but it was too close to lunch time so I said no. We left the store, put our bags in our car and instead of going home we went to the cafe on the corner of the plaza we were in. It was too busy and Jacob was hungry/tired so I opted to go across the street to another location instead. Hoping it was quicker option and I can get some food in him before he fell asleep in the car. Jacob was getting whiny so I picked him up while we waited for our turn to cross.

All four sections came to a stop. We started to walk on the crosswalk and then,

BOOM

Something hit me. 

I don’t know what hit me, but I felt something. Something big. Something hard.

Then all of a sudden my life froze. Everything went foggy. Everything was standing still. All of a sudden I felt g-d’s presence. “Hold him. Squeeze him. Hold him tight. Don’t let him go…”

I finally opened my eyes and saw that I was lying on the pavement far from the crosswalk.

I let out a loud cry while I squeezed Jacob some more.

I looked up and saw so many faces.

So many faces huddles around me, asking me questions. So so many faces. I can hear them, but I can’t speak. I’m in some kind of fog. I hear lot’s of “Are you ok? Is the baby ok? Can you move? Are you hurt? Oh no, he’s bleeding! Someone call 911 quick!!”

He’s bleeding?

I looked at him and saw the blood dripping down his mouth. I squeezed my baby and cried uncontrollably.

I can’t seem to catch my breath. My body aches in so many different places, my hands are numb, my head is swirling, my thoughts are all mixed up.

I looked down and saw that I was in the middle of the street. I was no longer on the crosswalk. How did I get to the street? I notice my shoe was off, my leg can’t move, my arm is throbbing and my baby, my baby boy is bleeding from his mouth. I wrap my hands around his little head and kiss him.

I can’t stop kissing him.

I started to look around. I tried to make sense of what just happened.

I looked over and saw someone in a car. I started to scream, “YOU HIT ME! YOU JUST HIT US! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU JUST HIT MY BABY!!!!”

I’m so mad. I’m so confused. What happened?

My heart is beating faster. I’m crying. I can’t stop crying.

Someone is squeezing my hand. My blood starts to rush back to my fingers and I can focus on the people surrounding me. So many people. So many faces.

All those faces are becoming clearer. I can make sense of their questions now, “Are you ok? The ambulance is on their way! Here’s some ice. Can you move your leg? I saw what happened. She hit you! She hit you and your precious baby.”

I can’t stop crying. I can’t make sense of my words. And then finally they ask me, “Is there someone we can call for you?”

I said, “yes, my husband”. They reach for my phone and the rest of my belongings that fell out of my backpack pocket, “Is this your phone?”

I gather my thoughts, find his number under my favorites and call him, “A car hit us!” I try to give my location but I’m so confused I hand my phone to someone. 

The people around me ask if I can walk. I say yes. I mean I think I can.

I give Jacob to a complete stranger and try to get up.

I let out a loud scream and fall back down. My body is throbbing and my brain is foggy. A few people help me back up as I limp to the sidewalk. They sit me down, bring Jacob over, give me ice and set my things next to me.

I’m sobbing uncontrollably, Jacob is crying and then a teenager approaches me and says, “I saw that. I saw you. The  Lord was with you. He was with you. I wanted to come here to let you know how blessed you are. Don’t ever loose your faith!” And then walks away. I look back down and a sweet lady is holding my hand. “It’s going to be ok. You are ok. I’m a nurse. I’m here for you.”

I look up and a firefighter is near me. He asks me questions, but I can’t understand him. He takes my blood pressure on the painful arm and I start to scream. They move the cuff to my other arm while asking me more questions.

Hubby arrives and I put Jacob down. He runs to his daddy and I let out a loud cry. He’s ok. He’s going to be ok. 

“She hit me. She hit us!”

The ambulance arrives and takes my blood pressure and oxygen. They tell me that I need to go to the hospital right now. They put me on a bed, hubby hands Jacob back to me and the ambulance drives us to the nearest hospital.

The first responder asks me a bunch of questions, but I can’t stop crying. I can’t believe I was hit. I was hit by a car. My baby and I were hit by a car and we didn’t die. Thank you g-d. Thank you!!!

Hubby meets us there. They check Jacob. He’s ok. He has two cuts on his tongue from the impact. He probably hit my shoulder, bit his tongue and started to bleed.  He never touched the street. I saved him! The cuts will heal on their own. He’s ok.

They check me. My blood pressure is high, my temperature is high and I am asked to take deep breaths. I can’t I’m in so much pain.

I get rolled into the scan room where they take what felt like 50 scans of my body. Every inch of me gets an x-ray.

I’m rolled back into my room. The ER doctor comes in with the results and says the best news he could possibly tell me, “You don’t have any broken bones! You have several abrasions and scratches, and you are going to black and blue for a while, but you are going to be fine.”

Thank you g-d. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

I’m ok. I’m going to be ok.

They let me rest, check my vitals again and give me lots of fluids. My vitals are finally safe, I get dressed and get in a wheelchair. 

I’m ok. I’m going to be ok.

– – – 

It has been 48 hours since the scariest moment of my life. I can’t believe one moment I was wait for cars to  stop, crossing a crosswalk and the next my body was in the air and thrown into the pavement a couple hundred yards. 

I’m sore and bruised. I’m achy. My back hurts and my neck hurts. I’m very lethargic. But I’m going to be ok.

Thank you g-d!!!

Thank you g-d for watching me and giving me the strength to hold my baby and to not let go. Thank you for taking care of my body. But most of all thank you for giving me more time with my baby.

The doctors and medical team on the scene said if I wasn’t cradling him like I did, he wouldn’t have had the same outcome.

Thank you. Thank you for giving me more time with my baby.

And thank you to the busy restaurant with huge windows who witnessed it all and came out to take care of Jacob and me. I’m forever grateful for a busy lunch day and all the kind hearted people who took care of us until my husband and ambulance arrived. 

Update #1: One year later –

I am terrified to go back to that plaza. I don’t like crosswalks or busy parking lots. I am very scared it will happen again. I am seeing a trauma therapist.

Update #2: Two years later –

I’ve gone back to the plaza and faced my fears. I’ve been better about crosswalks but Jacob from time to time won’t let me cross a crosswalk. He’s 4 now. Does he really remember what happened?

Update: #3: Three years later –

This will probably be me my last update. I’ve healed.